Dalton-isms

D-"Mommy, can I take a shower with you?"
Me-"No, you're too old for that."
D-"Daddy, can I take a shower with you?"
Daddy-"Nope. But you can take one by yourself."
D-"But I just want someone to get naked with me..."

D-"Are Robert and Lindsey going to have a baby?"
Me-"Yes."
D-"Is Lindsey going to have a baby?"
Me-"Um...yes."
D-"Are they gonna get a crate?"
I don't know why he thinks people keep babies in a crate. I swear to God that we do NOT put our kids in the dog crates!

"Mean people hunt. And when they're nice, they cook."

You know when you're at the grocery store and you're going through the list, you might read off the departments you need to go to? Well, that's what I was doing. So I said, "Automotive, paper goods, baby..."
And D says, "Mommy, we already have a baby, remember?"

"Look! My head is hard like a rock!"

"I'm mad like a Razorback."

Me to Chris-"Do you think all kids this age are funny, or is it just Dalton?"
D-"It's just me."

Comes out of his room with a polo shirt on, the collar turned up and his fingers on the edge of the collar-"This shirt makes me look cool..."

"I have to go poop and pee...I'm full of food and cake and water and milk and tea and tomato juice."

In the grocery store...D-"Wait, go back, I saw something back there!"
Me-"Nope, I don't have time to go back, just tell me what you saw."
D-"Applejacks!"
Me-"How do you know what Applejacks are when you've never had them?"
D-"I saw them on a commercial."

UPS drops a package at the door.
D-"Is that for me?"
Me-"Nope, I think it's for me."
D-"What is it?"
Me-"I think it's new dishes from Gma and Gpa Bane."
I open it and he sees all the bubble wrap and says- "See!! I told you it was for me!"

He was asking for Michael to come over and I told him that Michael went back to school and wouldn't come over as much anymore, but that I might watch a baby for someone else a few days a week. "We're not going to keep it, are we?"