You Know Who You Are

This post is for someone who I will have the decency not to mention by name. I know that it would be devastating for you for the thousands of people that read my blog to know who you are...okay, maybe I'm overestimating the number of people that read this, but I can dream, right?

You know who you are. You called and asked me yesterday if I wanted to go out to a movie. I declined, because 1) I don't have the money. By the time you get your ticket, popcorn, and coke, you might as well take a second mortgage out on your house. 2) I have too much to do. And 3) Frankly, I'm exhausted.

Your response? "How can you be exhausted? You're a stay at home home, it's not like you do anything." For the last time, I do not sit on my ass all day watching soap operas and eating bon bon's while the maid cleans and the nanny takes care of my kids. Sometimes, I wish I did. But that's not what goes on in this house. I just want to give you a run down of what the last three days have been like for me...

Monday...
Get up. Feed the boys. Feed all the animals, medicate them, and start the dog rotations in the yard. Friday we added a couple dogs to the mix, and although this was not my intention, we now have five dogs and six cats in this house. But that's another story for another day. Leave by 9:45 to get Dalton to his swim lessons at 10:00. Then go to Wal-Mart to get everything I need to make personalized cookies for Chris's office food day tomorrow. Home. Lunch. Put the boys down for naps. While the boys are napping, I do two loads of laundry and a load of dishes. I start making the gravestone cookies for Chris and promptly burn the first three batches to a crisp. I figure out on the fourth batch that I need to cut the baking time in half and drop the oven temperature by 25 degrees. Nothing like trial and error. Jackson gets up. Feed him. He feels warm, so take his temperature and he's running a fever and very cranky. Supposed to be making homemade potato soup for dinner but it now needs to wait because Jackson doesn't scream only while attached to my hip. Rotate the dogs again. The Other Nancy stops by with educational stuff she picked up for Dalton and visits for 30 minutes or so. Then sit on the couch with Jackson for 15 minutes until Chris gets home at 5:15. Trade Jackson over to Chris. Start making potato soup. Burn more cookies. Eat dinner. Bathe the boys. Feed Jackson. Clean and disinfect Jackson's helmet. Read to Dalton. Both boys in bed. Make another trip to Wal-Mart for more butter, so that I can make a second batch of cookies to burn in the morning. Feed and medicate all the animals, and rotate the dogs yet again. Then Jackson is up every 45 minutes to an hour through the night, crying, and with a fever.

Tuesday...
Get up. Is this even necessary? Did I ever even go to sleep? Feed the boys. Feed and medicate animals and start the dog rotations in the yard. Go over the US map with Dalton and teach him about Arkansas (where we live), California (where G&G Bane live), Oregon (where G&G Wilhelm live), and Texas (where we went two weeks ago). Two loads of laundry. Lunch, feed both boys. Jackson down for nap. Rotate the dogs again. Dalton "helps" me burn more cookies. At this point we've made over 140 cookies to get 90 decent ones needed for Chris's office. Dalton and I both lay down for a nap, and manage to get about an hour of sleep. Jackson up. Feed him. Medicate both him and Dalton as both have high fevers now...103.5 for J and 102 for D. Clean the cat boxes. Empty trash and diaper pail. Dishes. Dinner, feed Jackson. Make frosting (from scratch, which I surprisingly did not screw up the first time around) and start frosting cookies. Make second batch of frosting and finish cookies. Attempt to make edible spiders from leftover frosting. Throw spiders and rest of frosting away. Wash Jackson's hair and disinfect helmet. Carve three pumpkins with Dalton. Dalton to bed, feed Jackson, Jackson to bed. Medicate and feed animals, and rotate again in the yard. Phone call at 11:50pm from a friend who is struggling with the imminent death of her grandfather. Jackson is sleeping well, but Dalton is up every 30 minutes or so, crying and complaining of severe earache. End up sleeping in Dalton's room, on the bottom bunk with him, as it's easier than hauling myself into his room every 30 minutes.

Wednesday...
How long can a person go without sleep before they are locked up in a padded room? Up, feed the boys. Feed, medicate, and rotate dogs. Call the pediatrician for appointment. Punch out a 5'5" scarecrow for Dalton to decorate the front door with, as well as a large pumpkin, 8 crows, and 34 leaves. Hand write, with a food coloring pen, the name of every person in Chris's department, on the gravestone cookies. Yes, 90 cookies with full names. Lunch. Shower (anyone notice that I didn't get to shower the last few days??). Lunch, feed boys. Rotate dogs. Jackson down for short nap. Drive to Bella Vista to pick up a few items, stop by vet to pick up meds for the new dogs, drive to Fayetteville for pediatrician appt. Get Rx for Dalton's ear infection, test both boys for flu (negative, thankfully). Home around 4:30. Feed Jackson. Rock him for what seems like a year because he is still cranky with a temperature of 103. Chris home. Dalton plays a little in the yard while I sweep out the garage. Chris makes dinner (YAY!!). Carve the fourth and final pumpkin with Dalton. Decorate the front door and front windows with Dalton. Wash Jackson's hair and disinfect helmet. Attempt to feed Jackson but he refuses to eat anything, so put him to bed with nothing (I'll regret that later, I'm sure). Boys went to bed at 8:30 (Dalton) and 9:00 (Jackson). I started this post at 10:52 and we had been in Dalton's room four times, and Jackson's twice. Neither are sleeping tonight. Had to break twice from typing this to attend to a screaming Dalton (stupid ear infections).

There's nothing planned for Thursday, but Friday we have an appointment with the helmet doctor in Fayetteville, and we're supposed to trick or treat at Chris's office in the afternoon (not sure if we'll make that).

Now, in between all of this mundane ridiculously tedious--**COUGH**. Scratch that. In between all of this wonderful mom stuff that I do, I also fart around on Facebook, check emails for myself and the rescue, and check messages and return phone calls for the rescue, and sometimes spend HOURS on the phone with the auto insurance company trying to reach a settlement for the wreck.

Gosh, now that I put it all in writing, I guess I can see where you're coming from. I don't do anything! I get so much sleep, that I'm exhausted from all the sleep I get! Seriously, why can't I find the time and money and energy to go see a STUPID movie for one night? Why haven't I been jogging since before I went to Houston? What the hell do I do with my days? I'm so glad that you've opened my eyes to see how selfish and ridiculous I am. I just don't know what I would do without you.