I always slept with my phone beside my bed, in case mom called and needed me. There are mornings I wake up, still half asleep and see my phone, and think “I should call Mom”. And then I remember she’s gone. It’s been three weeks, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, or miss her. There’re days where I’m driving and have to pull the car over because I’m crying so hard I can’t see.
People say she’s in a better place. She’s not hurting anymore. And I say it’s bull shit. She’s not in a better place, because her place is here with me. She may not be hurting anymore, but I am. Grief, pain, and loss do not get better. Life doesn’t get better. It just gets…different.